This is the beautiful rainbow that I saw just before I sat down to write my last blog. Once again, I’m amazed at the beautiful reminder the Lord gives us of His hope. Thank you all for the prayers and the comments after my last blog. The prayers have definitely been felt! Last weekend was restful and a time of refreshing. During Bible study last Sunday, a comment was made that went something like “Belief is stepping out of the door into the dark”. This really left an impression on me, especially in light of that tough week. God calls us to step into the dark sometimes – to go places we are totally unsure of, not confident of, so that His power can shine. It was an encouragement to me to trust Him even when I’m called into a situation or to do something that I’m not comfortable with or feel inadequate to do. I pray that this thought will encourage you as much as it did me. As a side note, the Lord blessed me with a fairly quiet week this week. I am currently at Tenwek hospital (a large mission hospital in
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Hope and Belief
Sunday, November 15, 2009
A Paradox
So, this was a very full week. Every day seemed to bring many surprises and emergencies. There were emergency C-sections, retained 2nd twins after a traditional birth attendant allowed a woman to labor at home knowing she had twins, too many D&C's to count including a couple that were in shock. On top of all of that, Ben and Cathy Sawer, who I have written about before, left to return to Canada. They left a hole here on station and we were all very sad to see them go.
The most consuming patient of the week was a 19 year old girl - we'll call her V - who was transferred from a health centre where she had delivered her baby prematurely and then developed postpartum hemorrhage. When she arrived at Kapsowar, she was hypotensive and had a hemoglobin of 6 (should be at least 12). She was given blood and seemed to improve a bit. Then, her blood pressure became high (probably what it was before delivery) and she complained of a severe headache - she had severe pre-eclampsia (toxemia). Who knows how long she had had it. So, I started her on appropriate therapy and she seemed to improve. Then, on Thursday, I noticed that her abdomen was becoming distended. Her exam was consistent with ascites, which can come from the liver being affected by pre-eclampsia. On Friday, it was markedly distended and an ultrasound confirmed that she had massive ascites. We decided to drain some of the ascites to make her more comfortable. As I was coming to do that procedure, I noticed that she all of a sudden was not very responsive, responding only to pain but not able to communicate. This was a definite change from how she had looked just an hour before. We quickly did what we could, but decided she needed to be transferred to Eldoret - a 2 hour drive and the closest ICU. One problem - our only functional ambulance was currently in Eldoret. So, we had to wait for it to get back in order to transfer her. We prayed over her and reassured her scared husband that we were transferring her where she could get better care. As we saw her off, I had a bad feeling. Why had she suddenly worsened? Was there something else I could have done? Should we have transferred her sooner? Only God knows the answers. All night that night, I couldn't sleep. I just felt like something wasn't right. I said so many prayers for V - that she would recover, that her newborn child (her first) would do well, that her family would have strength through this difficult time, that they would come to know the Lord.
I found out the next morning when I went in for rounds that V had died at 3 am. My first maternal death. She was only 19. The unfairness of it all was overwhelming. Why couldn't I have done anything else? Why couldn't I do the labs I needed to do to determine why she had become nearly comatose? Why would a 19 year old be taken away from her newborn child? As I sat and cried, I was comforted by one of the labor nurses and one of the cleaning ladies. They reassured me that this happens here in Kenya and it would be okay. But it's not okay I told them. It's so unfair.
While I will continue to mourn V, I think that the Lord had a lesson to teach me through all of this. First, He is in control and He does have a plan. Second, I am not in control and no matter how much I think I know, ultimately, my patients' lives are in His hands. Third, I have to just trust God that what I am doing for the patients is the right thing and leave the rest to Him.
So, despite the fact that it was an exhausting, overwhelming, and challenging week, I think it will be one that I will look back on as a turning point, perhaps. I now know, more than ever, that He is in control. And I praise Him that after we have come through the flood, He provides a rainbow of hope to remind us that He is there - yesterday, today, and forever.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Mexican and a movie – a great combination
Kapchesewes Children’s Home
Last weekend, we took a walk to a nearby orphanage. It is a place I have wanted to go to and this is the first chance I’ve had to go. The walk there was, like most hikes here, breathtaking and challenging. But definitely worth it (see picture below).
This is a children’s home run by AIC (
At the children’s home, the children learn vital life skills. They are all involved in cooking, cleaning, managing a small farm as well as tending after sheep and cows. All of these things are skills that will serve them well in life here in
While the home is full of love, it is significantly lacking in physical comforts. The children sleep two to a bed in beds that most of us would complain about sleeping in by ourselves. The mattresses are thin and worn and sag in the middle. The blankets they have are thin and have holes. Up in the hills in
Several people here have been impressed by this place. Just being there, their joy surrounds you and is infectious. There are plans to build bunkbeds and buy new mattresses, as well as build new cabinets for clothes.
I was so touched by these children, as I am by most orphans. There’s just something special about them. I hope to take many more trips there.
The beautiful walk there
31st Birthday!
The next day, I traveled to Eldoret with the Sawer’s to pick up 2 new medical students from Australia (actually from Canada, but going to school in Australia). Ben and Cathy treated me to lunch at a Chinese restaurant to extend the birthday festivities. It was a wonderful birthday!
E.S.
So, please pray for ES and her family. In the last year, her family has spent the majority of their savings to pay for hospital bills for her daughter, who is HIV+ and was very sick but is now doing well. She is unsure where she will get the money for radiation, but I assured her that the Lord will provide. So, please pray for peace as she deals with this news. Please also pray for healing and strength and that we would be able to help however possible so that she can get the treatment she needs. If any of you are interested in donating money for her specifically, you can mail a check to the address listed on the sidebar of the blog. Then please send me a message letting me know how much you sent and that you would like it to go to ES.
Thank you for your prayers! I will give updates as available.